Guitar arrives tomorrow (today!).

Kat also calls (maybe) which I'm just not thinking about. All the things that reminded me of her have been in the closet (no not a metaphorical closet) for a few weeks now so I really don't know what to say. I certainly don't know what she probably expects me to say. I want to be bitter about something but I know I don't really have any reason to be, so that route, while the easiest way to go, is pretty much out of the question. A little apathy never killed anyone though.

I talked with an old coworker from the restaurant I used to work at online the other day. She's been stopping by every once in a while at my current job with various friends to say hi. I know she at least wants to have some sort of friendship, but I'm almost positive she wants more. I don't want either really, and it's not just her, it's with anyone. I'd rather be practicing guitar, or reading my books. My social skills are finally going to hell without high school to keep them in barely working order, and I've never felt better. Anyway, being the nice guy that I am, I promised to hang out with her sometime next week after work or something. Somehow I got caught into considering going to a movie, which borders on a date and I don't want to lead her on or anything.

So I'm thinking like, if I actually end up talking to Kat for more than a couple sentences, I can mention that I'm going to a movie with an ex-coworker, and not say her name or anything. I told Kat about Joanna, the crazy polish girl from the same workplace, and if she thinks I've gone back to talking with her then she might think I've given up on even bothering to try and have a relationship with more than sex. And I dunno. Just a thought heh.

Leaving for new hampshire this friday morning. I wanted to leave around 4am but apparently no one will be up at 7 when I arrive. So this means I can either leave at 4 and check out some of the scenery, maybe take the scenic route and toss some rice in a container for breakfast on a mountain, some hippy shit like that, or I can leave at 8am and deal with fucking traffic, and the sun baking my car. I dont know if my sister wants to go. My dad asked me to try and get her to come up there with me but if I ask her she's going to want to bring her boyfriend, and I don't want to fucking do that again after last time. I prefer 3 hour car trips alone where I can listen to my music at whatever volume I choose, and not deal with cigarette smoke and whining when I tell them to throw the fucking things out. So no thanks.

And what's with everyone thinking I'm older than I am online. If the logic is that since I don't make lame jokes about homosexuals, I must be more mature, then why is it these people pointing out this fact continue to make these jokes? Yeah it's cute that you're a retard for about five seconds but you can shut the fuck up now thank you. Fuck, in like 50 years everyone will be saying how they can't believe people used to be so bigoted towards gays, just like now it's (generally) thought so horrible that racism 50 years ago was so prevalent. I don't know what sort of pointless crap will be singled out in the future, people that like wheat toast instead of white will be branded pariahs or something, I dunno, seems as worthwhile as the current crap. And yeah yeah I know most people say gay and things like that without really meaning it that way, and that doesnt bother me so much, political correctness in something that stupid is counter-productive anyway.

what the fuck am i writing this for at 130am. jesus i feel like its christmas eve waiting for this guitar heh, i cant sleep. fuck you all and stop saying gay its getting annoying. all the little kids in high school said "fag" every other word, its the least creative word to use, think of something better you lazy cunts.